Week 1
Time to breathe! I almost felt like I was convalescing this week, that I was coming out of a long period of illness, and this was my time to regather strength. It was a strange new reality to come to grips with, as I had to focus on letting go of my usual work and understand what my new normal for the next ten weeks was going to look like. Taking a step back from the kindergarten – totally trusting in the handover, sure in the knowledge that there is an amazing group of wāhine in that space that will take care of everything – provided a sense of freedom that felt different to going on annual leave.
There is still ‘work’ as part of this sabbatical. But this work takes the form of focussed learning, with time to see where that focus takes me, supporting children’s learning and my own practice. Already, after only a week, I can feel the weight of responsibility lifting.
When you are immersed in the day-to-day management of a kindergarten, it is difficult sometimes to gain perspective and critically view the role that we undertake.
A kindergarten is more than just a workspace. There is an expectation that we make sure it is welcoming; it is safe; it representative of those who have been, are there, and those to come. It must both delight and enhance the senses, and calm and soothe at the same time. And we have to ensure the wellbeing of those who work within it. Our role as teachers is multifaceted and complex on so many levels. I have been doing it for more than 40 years.
This sabbatical is a unique opportunity for me to analyse my role as a leader, how I lead, and how I can make sure that the role I hold is manageable and joyful, so that I can maintain what I do for the last few years of my working life.
Next week, I get stuck into Kōwhiti Whakapae and how I will be applying the framework to my practice and assessments.
This sabbatical is a unique opportunity for me to analyse my role as a leader, how I lead, and how I can make sure that the role I hold is manageable and joyful, so that I can maintain what I do for the last few years of my working life.
Week 2
This is when I start to think about how the next nine weeks will look – the time to ensure I do what I set out to do in my proposal.
I have chosen three children at Kindergarten that I am going to observe, and I went in on Tuesday morning to do just that. However, it was too busy and there were too many distractions, even as an extra rather than in ratio! I adapted my goals to just observe one child on this day.
I wrote a detailed story around my observations and started to unpack it using the Kōwhiti Whakapae framework. My original intention was that this would be the start in a series, but going back through the narratives already posted, I realised that I didn’t need to reinvent the wheel. It was important for me to acknowledge the work that had gone before: we have already started to document progress and dispositions within our assessments.
So I changed the focus. The observation that I had written up was assessed within the framework, but I also then went back and used the framework against all the stories already posted.
This highlighted to me the depth and breadth of the information and examples of practice that are contained within the online forum. It was a little overwhelming, so I used just one area as a focus and concentrated on that. I was very heartened by what I discovered and feel very proud of the level of documentation that we collectively produce that can show progress in the child’s learning.
On a more personal note, I am sleeping, eating and feeling better. I still want to be a small part of what is happening at the kindergarten, but I don’t feel any need to intervene or manage what is going on there. Talk about freedom!
Week 3
With Maramataka in Tamatea, it’s required some effort to push on through this week. But, as I reflected on my current place and space, I realised that I didn’t need to keep ‘pushing on through’. The deadlines and tasks that I am setting for myself are self-driven, and I have the power to change that if I wish.
[As] I reflected on my current place and space, I realised that I didn’t need to keep ‘pushing on through’. The deadlines and tasks that I am setting for myself are self-driven, and I have the power to change that if I wish.
It may seem simple to some, but when you have spent your life being goal oriented and brought up with a strong value related to work, it takes some time to let go. It has taken until this week for me to give myself that permission.
The beauty of the sabbaticals is that you can choose whether to share your findings or not. If I am not really feeling it, or the focus shifts, or circumstances change, there is freedom and flexibility to meet my own needs within this timeframe. While I still have the same focus for my mahi during this time, how and where and when I go about it, and how much I complete during that time is up to me. The only person judging my work is myself, and I am trying not to be my own worst critic!
Being driven, focussed, reliable, innovative, and all those other positive work values that we throw around as being aspirational, all come at a cost, and for me, this sabbatical is also about unpacking those values that have long been a part of who I am as a kaiako, and maybe reframing them so that the cost to my wellbeing is not diminished.
Our roles in ECE seem to be constantly evolving and every year there seems to be something that takes a lot of energy and focus. I used to know what our core business was, but now I’m not so sure. I now seem to be dealing with ‘big picture’ issues all the time rather than our core business. It started with Covid, and since then it is like there has been a shift in the viewpoint so that it always has to be about something bigger than our local curriculum. Does this mean that I want to be an ostrich with my head buried in the sand? Sometimes it does. I feel like I have to spend so much time on the big outside world stuff, that I don’t get enough time to focus on the small but vitally important persons in my care. How can I take it back to that?
[Sometimes] I feel like I have to spend so much time on the big outside world stuff, that I don’t get enough time to focus on the small but vitally important persons in my care. How can I take it back to that?
Week 4
This week it was a focus on whānau, but also a change of tack! I gave myself permission to go with the flow. If I didn’t get that observation done … so what? If I didn’t write up and evaluate my findings … who cares? It’s taken until week four for me to be able to unshackle myself from a lifelong work ethic of my own making. In saying that, habits of successful people are built on those work ethics, and I do strive to be the best I can be, for me and for the tamariki and whanau and kaiako that I work alongside. They deserve my best.
But this week, my mokopuna received my time and care. It was so nice to be able to give them that, knowing I could take some time for myself without having to rush back to work. The thing I am loving about this sabbatical is the flexibility.
Week 5
This week was about recovery from illness. I came back very unwell from looking after my mokopuna and spent some time in recovery.
I have been ruminating on where to next with my teaching career. I had been wondering about moving to a teacher role so that I could get back to the ‘joy’ of teaching for my last few years in a permanent position, but the time to think has given me a different perspective. The truth is, I love where I work. Parihaka Kindergarten speaks to my heart, and I have not finished my time there. I love the team and the community. I don’t want to move and start again.
But I need to make some changes so I can ensure I can have the ‘joy’ I seek for the next few years. What aspects of my role, leadership, and ways of being and doing do I need to change to enable that to happen?
Week 6 and 7
Another opportunity to spend time with my son and moko in Australia, which enabled me to gain insight into their daily realities. My moko has a rare metabolic illness and has always shown strong red flags for ASD.
Last year, my paper on inclusion highlighted the invisibility of silence, and when you say nothing about difference, whatever that may look like, it makes it invisible. I know I had been guilty of that: saying nothing and treating everyone all the same ensures that everyone feels included, right? But there is no one-size-fits-all!
I am so grateful that I work within a curriculum that allows for differences to be identified and celebrated.
I am so grateful that I work within a curriculum that allows for differences to be identified and celebrated. I am grateful that I and my team have the skills and knowledge to support a curriculum design that ensures that we can meet the needs of individual tamariki. I am grateful for my constant learning and the updating of knowledge that brings it back to the child and their whānau and how we can best support them. The balance for me as a leader has always been to ensure that there is access to support, and finding ways to ensure the wellbeing of all, including kaiako, but also ensuring that we keep the child and their whānau at the centre of our decision-making, with clear communication, empathy, and love.
Our kindergartens or centres need to be places where whānau can take a deep breath, if only for a short time. What ‘props’ do we provide for them, how often and is it enough?
Week 8
Once again recovering from illness. Airports and aeroplanes always seem to be receptacles of circulating germs!
This week I have been pondering the restorative properties of a sabbatical.
It all comes back to time. Time to be, to recover. To ruminate, to learn – about yourself and others. To gain perspective and insight, something that is hard to do in the day-to-day business of our roles, both personal and professional. You have the time to determine the best course of action for you.
There are times when the shadows behind start to loom and I feel that, particularly in the last four years, they have grown large and started to overshadow the future. Spending time on a sabbatical to turn and face what was behind me allowed me to let go and face what is ahead with greater clarity and vigour.
Spending time on a sabbatical to turn and face what was behind me allowed me to let go and face what is ahead with greater clarity and vigour.
Week 9
At the beginning of last week’s reflection, I talked about the ‘restorative’ value of a sabbatical, and that is how I am beginning to feel: restored! Restored in the sense of my energy and enthusiasm, and in the joy I find in teaching ECE. I have my gratitude restored, as well as my sense of humour and equilibrium.
I have my gratitude restored, as well as my sense of humour and equilibrium.
As I enter the last week of my sabbatical, I am slightly increasing the amount of time I spend in the kindergarten, but just enough to ease myself back into it, catch up with kaiako and tamariki, and re-establish the relationships that have been put on hold for the last nine weeks.
The initial goals that I set myself have been put aside. They hold little importance for me now. I trust what we do and how we deliver a quality curriculum, and I have enough focus and drive to ensure that we stay current in our practice.
Of far more importance has been the internal reflection and introspective musing during this time, and how my understanding of myself and where I want to go next will play a part in the near future.
It is fitting that it is Matariki, the ending of one year and the beginning of the next. As someone who has used the Maramataka for some time to determine a course of action, I feel I have timed my sabbatical well. It is a time to come together, to reflect on the past, and when I return to work it will be a new year, with a new outlook and goal.
